Article

The Amador Vampyre

Published by The Amador Vampyre on the 19th of February 2016

Vampyres who like non-vampyres who like non-vampyres who like vampyres

Sometimes, I find the Vampire Community to be a huge waste of time.

With all the infighting, back-stabbing, rudeness….it sometimes seems like there is very little that is helpful or positive. We have our notorious figures who are argumentative or attack in other ways. And then we have so many comments and posts which have nothing to do with feeding, vampire health or anything educational about what applies to us as Modern Vampyres. Some days, it feels like so much effort to wade through the comments to find some practical advice or something even resembling an inspiring word. Some day this week, I was walking from our flower shop to the local bakery, carrying a vase of flowers. The delivery was so close, that I thought it would be faster if I went on foot. I was very engaged with the sensory experience of my walk. I felt the cool, hard vase in my hand. The scent of the dirt in the vacant lot. The warmth of the noonday Sun on my skin. The feel of my feet pushing into my sandals, pushing against the sidewalk. The movement of the muscles in my legs and upper body, as I made my way down the street. I could see and otherwise sense the people moving around and beside me. I became aware of something like psychically taking in the scent of their energies and feeling those same wisps of energy brushing against me.

This was my life. The psychic and sensory world that was personal to me. The energy, the essence of others is something that I consciously interact with, now that I conceptualize myself as a Modern/Real Living Vampire. As I walked, I wondered what it would have been like had I never come across other vampires. The Magickal/Pagan/Witchcraft Community has some holes regarding their philosophy towards Real Vampyres. Without the information of the VC, I would still be someone who was just energetically damaged and deficient, despite repeated energy healing efforts. I would still be feeling guilty about conscious and deliberate feeding….which means that I would only feed automatically–just enough to keep from starving. And, as it stands with automatic-only feeding, there is no prediction as to who it comes from or under which circumstances we automatically drain others’ energies.

In the VC, we have our fill of our villains and role players. We have our lifestylers and our glampires. We have Real Living Vampires who are also part of the glampire, role player, lifestyler…..and flat-out bat-crazy categories. Non-Vampyres, Real Vampyres AND Real Vampyres who are part of the Non-Vampyric Vampyre groups. At times, the Vampire Community seems like a hot, sticky mess.

Despite our online and in-person group descriptions as teaching circles, Houses, Families or Communities…..we can’t seem to keep out all of the people who interfere with the prescribed group agendas, goals or focuses. There seem to always be those people who are posers (who don’t really meet the criteria or definition of the “type” of Vampire for that particular group), the confused (who are sincere, but mistaken about their self-identification), trolls and trouble-makers who sneak past the watchful administrative eyes to create or focus more on issues/topics/dramas which do not help the Newly Awakened or Aware Vampire.

What is the most important thing for Real Vampires? What seems to be the most important for me is Information….this has helped me become a more functional being. Practical information. Articles. Advice. Suggestions. It’s so easy to get caught up in the politics and personal drama of and within the VC, because despite what some of us claim….we’re all still human–with a human emotional body and emotional history with all of it’s issues.

I have no more delusions about joining a homogeneous group, where all the members are on the same page, at all times. That’s not realistic. I never found that in the Pagan Communities….it doesn’t exist in biological families or any other kind of grouping in real life. It’s not supposed to….not when it has never shown up in this reality, before. It’s an ideal that we should strive to….but, not at the cost of not taking the time to constantly circulate practical, immediately Vampyre-useful information.

It’s wonderful to have personal ideals about what kind of person we want to grow into, including how we want to be treated. It’s nice to work towards ideal communities that we want to create. But, because of the nature of this reality, many people are not interested (or able) to remain centered, group-oriented individuals….and chaos seems to be the natural setting that is created in our groups, when it is not already present.

So, I don’t look for big group numbers to fulfill me. Instead, my agenda is to make myself available to my fellow Kindred who need me, whether for education or emotional support. It is the individual who the universe aligns me with in the moment that concerns me. Despite the flaws of some outspoken chaos-makers, there are a scattering of wonderful Vampyres, Swans and Allies who are here in this Community to help and serve….so, I will do my part, too.