Article

The Amador Vampyre

Published by The Amador Vampyre on the 28th of December 2016

Awakening: Identity, conviction, false assumptions, big expectations & other hooplah

I came across someone talking about Awakening, the other day. This was specifically in an Otherkin group; but I have seen this happen in Vampire groups, as well. Some of us are Vampiric, because we are Otherkin…and, a lot of us just tend to hang out in each other’s communities. We do share a few common terms and experiences–one of the bigger ones being “Awakening”.

Awakening itself is a general concept. Recently, someone asked for help in “Awakening completely”….to which someone else replied that no one can make Awakening happen any faster, it is just something that happens on its own.

To my understanding, an Awakening refers to the self awareness of one’s true nature. This means, that one was not intellectually aware of what one was/is before, because one has been told or led to believe that they are something different.

In my western world, my corner of which is heavily Christian and Catholic, we are generally taught that we are physically human with human souls. In our standard mythology, we are not angels or demons, divine in any way….we have human souls. In our standard western mythology, we are not taught that we have had any previous incarnation as any animal, mineral, plant….we are not taught that we have had our consciousness in any other form than what we are experiencing right now as humans. We are not presented with the possibility that we could have had any non-human experience as any other being in any other dimension or planet. In our Christian mythology, we are told that we have one human lifetime and we exist only as human souls.

Personally, I don’t believe in every metaphysical theory or concept that I am presented with….but, I acknowledge that there is as much collective evidence to verify the Christian metaphysical theories as there is to justify other metaphysical theories that exist outside of the Christian modality. In short, I see no reason to invalidate one’s personal experience and interpretation of that internal experience, as long as it does not interfere with one’s ability to lead a productive, healthy, happy life.

In my personal timeline, my Awakening was more of an intellectual acceptance of a particular description of being and the embrace of the general concepts of the Vampire Community. My particular version of Awakening was coming to terms that the description of a Modern Living Vampire applied to me and my life. However, there are so many different interpretations of what Awakening is.

To my understanding, Awakening is the process of realization of one’s nature. It is a natural and organic process that unfolds over long-term contemplation. When I read that someone wanted help in their Awakening process, I could not help but think that maybe it wasn’t really Awakening that they were looking for.

There seems to be more people within the Kin/Vampire Communities who misidentify because, on some level, they perceive benefits to being Kin/Vamp, even if they are not.

Some people want to believe that they are Kin/Vampire because they think that they will have “special powers” if they are–or that they will be taught how to use those “special powers”, if the Community is fooled into thinking that they are. This is delusional thinking at worst, role playing at best. Actual Modern Living Vampires recognize that there are natural benefits to feeding and health limitations when they do not feed. Actual Otherkin/Therians understand that they are non-human souls housed in human bodies….and not human souls in a human body, as western/Christian teachings have instructed them. These sets of realizations are used to make the Modern Vamp/Kin more functional in their day-to-day life. We have our internal understanding and, depending on our individual perception of metaphysical/non-material reality, observe whichever paranormal activities are actually real and occurring in our lives.

As far as our personal information, this is the basic understanding of what we are. Our self-identification, as far as we understand the concept individually. I personally do not put too much stock in worldly self-identification–at least, not the degree to which other people seem to defend it. However, there are some people who function much better when they have strong convictions in who they define themselves as, what they self-identify as…their Kin and their type.

Ideally, self-identification should help a person navigate more smoothly through their life, more elegantly through their day. Knowledge empowers. Information prepares. Improper use of information, negative use of information creates more discord. To falsely or incorrectly self-identify holds no permanent benefits and puts one in the middle of their own fantasy, which will eventually ostracize them from everyone.

Our measurement for the validity or accuracy of metaphysical, non-material information is our intuition and psychic sensing. We might be able to observe physical manifestations of these concepts and sometimes analyze the correspondence between the two through our intellect. Not everyone has the same abilities to psychically sense, observe and analyze information perfectly. Some of us are better than others. Some of us develop our senses over diligent practice and correct training.

Within every spiritual system, religion and metaphysical group–there are plenty of people who do not have the objectivity and insight to accurately assess information beyond the physical senses. While I do believe that there are some very real non-human souls in human bodies (Otherkin), I suspect that there are quite a few more people who are trying to make themselves fit the description of a “non human” for secondary (and usually, imaginary) benefits. As a modern shaman and mage, I can see where using an archetype or thoughtform (as a Role Model or through Godform Assumption) can be very helpful. Even if all signs point to someone being very much human-souled, magickally-(mentally-) identifying as a non-human entity can be incredibly beneficial…but, only as an internal working, kept private and to one’s self.

The only criteria for Modeling/Assumption (as an Animal Spirit or Fictional Being) is that the magician be completely honest with themselves and not try to pass themselves off TO OTHERS as something that they are not. Passing yourself off falsely always catches up with you and ostracizes you from any and all groups, once the truth comes out.

Part of unraveling whether one is truly Kin/Vamp or not is also mentally entertaining the possibility that one is not. Going over the possible reasons why one might NOT be Kin/Vamp includes looking over the desired benefits of identifying as one. Does “realizing” one is Kin mean that there is now access to “powers” or abilities that one can’t possess if one is not Kin? Any and all humans can practice sorcery, energy manipulation and the psychic arts. All of our paranormal and meta-human experiences fall under those umbrella categories. Actual Kin/Vamps can only display psychic or magickal feats within the normal range of any other human which has put in a large amount of time studying and practicing. The range of possibility for magickal or psychic expression is the same for human-souled humans and non-human-souled humans. Kin/Vamps cannot express anything beyond which any other human can.

To address some normally unspoken myths about being a Kin or Vamp–we cannot mentally control others, get away with stealing, get away with physically bullying or intimidating others, impress others in an extremely unnatural way (glamour)–in short, we cannot break any laws of the land or laws of physics. This might be a total guess on my part, but from what little clues I get from people who are delusional or role players….I have to assume that they are assuming that Fictional behavior (scifi physical shifting and other movie powers) are real-life experiences of established or long-identified Kin.

Awakening is the mental/emotional process of understanding what you are on a soul or energetic body level. It is understanding how your energy works or how you express yourself on a non-physical level, so that you can work with those expressions in a way which make you more emotionally comfortable and possibly more expanded on those spiritual levels.

Insisting that you are something that you might not be is NOT a magickal way to confer special powers onto yourself. This is the same line of thinking that has people searching for those “magic words” or special formulary that instantly transmutes physical reality, in some way. Either that is sometimes the underlying thought process or some non-Kin/non-Vamps seem to be convinced that established members of the Communities have some special (or again, magickal) secrets that we only give out to Kindred.

There really is no way to Awaken someone who is non-Kin.

A human soul is a human soul, but can still master the metaphysical arts.

Another misperception about Awakening is that it will somehow make you feel instantly empowered. With that most recent post, I somehow got the impression that when the poster was asking for help in Awakening, they were actually asking for help in the emotional arena–perhaps feeling centered, strong or settled. Reading between the lines, it seems that many people who come into the Kin Communities are trying to fill in emotional gaps and needs that have nothing to do with being other-souled, but are very much connected to having the emotional body that comes with a physical human form.

As part of smoothing the Awakening/Questioning process along, I suggest exploring the possibility that you are not Kin and coming up with reasons why you might want to falsely identify as such. What do you really want or expect out of discovering that you are Kin/Vamp? What are all the other ways of fulfilling those needs? If you are really not Kin/Vamp, what can you get out of substitute activities in Magick, Sorcery, Psionics, Psychicism, Energy Work?

Looking into workable alternatives will save you a lot of time and energy, rather than chasing after delusions and burning a lot of bridges with valuable people that could be good resources of information and inspiration. Many powerful magicians, psychics and metaphysicians were born human and worked for their achievements.